An extensive list of goals for 2023 and a look back at the horrific regrets of 2022!

It’s coming to my attention that I took for granted 2022. I believed it would be some sort of magical clam bake from my youth in which all my friends and past partners would join in a circle and dance under a tree and sing songs from Merrily We Roll Along. I believed the party would be a “Wigs n Bibs” party where we all could dress up like babies with different hair styles.

I believed my dead grand parents would come back and be in attendance. I thought I would be running Forbes Magazine right now. At the Bibs N Wigs party, I felt I would insist that everyone would have to put diapers on each other in a strictly loving way and if you didn’t want to no one would be mad at you. I thought the party would be held inside the Rose Bowl and there would be karaoke, but only one randomly selected person would be able to sing. No one would be pressured to actually soil their diapers, but if it happened no one would mind either. I thought after a couple of hours at the Bibs N Wigs party, only the committed party goers would get to enjoy a giant surprise set from Tom Petty who would be resurrected for the event. Everyone would instantly be healed and we’d wave goodbye to Tom as he ascended to the clouds after we shook our diapered asses to Yer So Bad one last time.

I believe it would be the year that the plug gets put back into the socket and we’d all renew and imbibe together and speak not a word of the last few years. Instead our outlets got ripped out of the wall, and inside the intimidating dark, torn up plaster was an opening to something new, even more new. You didn’t have to work to find it, whatever it was, grief, love, pain, power, joy, a horn. It was just underneath the drywall waiting for you smash into it with your fisting fist.

I have different expectations for 2023, I don’t expect the same communions of my youth or any romanticism of life pre pandemic. I don’t expect a lollipop to be placed on my tongue after every heart ache, or work ache or home ache. I don’t expect reality to go as slow as I do. I am prepared to move without the hurry and worry of other people’s pace. In a dream I heard, “you’re your only audience”, which could be looked at as a dig to my creative work, but I saw it in the way of thinking of my whole life. You’re the only witness.

Last year was the last I could hold on, the rope to the past burned my palm too much as it was pulled away. Now I have chaffed, cracked palms and if I gave a hand job, the person would scream at the top of their lungs. And so 2023 is the year that that wont happen, and that’s all the expectations I have of it right now. Wishing you all a wet palm on your groin area for 2023!